POWER of the SUN

The sun is a VERY powerful force in my life.  I am very suseptable to depression during the winter months.  This year it has started early, because my husband and I are down to 1 car.  :(  So I get up to drive 6 miles at 6:15 AM....it is exhausting and seriously starting to affect my well being.  Finally Tuesday evening I explained to him that this is the situation and I need him to figure it out.  We are purchasing a truck at the end of December, but until then it seems I am stuck getting up WAY before the sun and driving the 6 miles....

So you say, "6 miles" is is really that big of a deal?  Same question my in-laws keep asking.  NO 6 miles is not the reason this is a big deal.  The big deal is on a "Normal we have 2 cars" kind of day, I don't get up until 7:30, the baby sleeps until I wake her up a bit after 8, and before LO gets up, I get EVERYTHING done I need for the day (set up the pump, fill bottles, get the cloth diapers ready, SHOWER alone, etc.).  Seems like a little thing to ask for...30 minutes, but I am SO productive if I can be by myself during that time.  LO is just not ready to be awake, so she is SUPER cranky and MUST be held...so it takes 3 times as much time to do all of my necessary things.

YES, I am bitching, but it needs to be said.

A Funny Look

Today while driving to work, a woman almost ran into my car.  She was so distracted by my pumping, that we almost had an accident.  It was really quite funny....once it was over.  She stopped a light next to me, I was setting up the pump, she looked at me, mouth fell open, then she turned to look away, and then turned back as if "that's not really what I saw, let me just check."  It was SO funny!  I just watched her the first time and the second I waived.  She very quickly turned around and took off when the light turned green.
I love embarrassing people.

Jealousy

So Megan had her baby boy!  This is great...she was scheduled to be induced, but he came naturally :)  Horray!

The lucky lady says she was in labor for less than 4 hours...

So I instantly felt a MAJOR jealousy in the deepest pit of my stomach.  I'm not sure what I am jealous about, but it is definitely there. :( 

I am trying to convince myself that the important part is that he is healthy and here....not that her labor was so SHORT or that her baby was born with a round head instead of a pointed head (due to long labor) that LO had....he is healthy and beautiful.

I think it takes a lot of maturity to admit my silly jealousy, but it makes me upset that I am so vain, or maybe it is selfishness that I am jealous of Megan....GROW UP!

This all comes down to, I miss LO during the day and now Megan gets to spend all day with her new bb...that's what I'm jealous about...mostly.  After all, God must think I am DAMN strong to go through the labor I went through and that makes me smile.

LO has a new cousin and I'm willing to bet we go see him this weekend.  Hopefully this green monster is gone by then.  I'm working on it.

Photo Shoot

We took LO's 1 year old pictures today!  I attached a few at the bottom of this post.  My father-in-law is a "photographer".  He is GREAT.  He does it as a side job taking mostly senior pictures and pictures for the local high school drama groups.  It's nice because he lives in town with us and is available almost anytime.

LO was not feeling so great last night, (mild fever 101-102) so we thought we might have to cancel.  She burned out over night and woke up sans fever!  However, it is back this evening :(

Back to the point....we took pictures this morning!  LO wore a corduroy dress my mom bought and her cute brown shoes!  We did this photo shoot at 7:45 AM!  The sun was coming up and created beautiful warm colors!  It really brought out the RED in LO's hair!  Hope you enjoy the pics.

Baby update....Megan has still not had BB.  :(  She is SO ready.

Here's LO

Milk, I have MILK!

Today was a GREAT day!  I pumped 3 1/2 ounces on my way to work, 3 1/2 ounces at lunch and 2 1/2 ounces on my way home from work!  WOOOHOOOO :)  Maybe my body is getting back in the swing of this.

Hubby's cousin Megan is 40 weeks preganant today!  She is so excited to see her BB (baby boy)....so we are trying to encourage him.  This is a touchy subject for me because I don't believe in the official 40 weeks of preganancy....each baby is different, each mom is different....each preganancy is different, we should let nature take it's course (1 of many soap boxes)  Anyway, there are MANY different ideas that when a momma is close to labor can begin the process a bit earlier: sex, nipple stimulation, herbs, spicy foods, running, different teas...etc.  I'm hoping that Megan goes into labor soon and has a smooth and satisfying labor.

After she delivers my real hope is that she finds nursing satisfying and wonderful!  Last baby (BG) was not a successful nurser....epidural gone bad which lead to an epidural headache and then never reached the nursing relationship of her dreams. :*(  This time Megan is determined!

This is a post about not much, but I felt like I should just put all these thoughts out there.
Here's to hoping a new healthy baby is born soon and my milk keeps flowing!  Horray for positive thinking!

Cars

Cars....a serious cause of stress in my life and marriage right now.  Hubby's car was not suitable to be licensed or carry a child seat, so he got another one....it died....got another and it died....borrowed his dad's car (had an extra) and it has now died....so 3 cars in 1 year...killed.

I have threatened that Hubby's next care will be a horse & buggy....he was VERY excited to get to have a horse.  I have revised the threat to bicycle...it's less appealing.

So you say, go get a car loan and a new car....can't afford 2 car payments.
So you say, just use 1 car...we both have full-time jobs that are 45 miles apart...plus he starts work at 7:00 AM :(

What do you do?
Well, for the last 2 weeks I have been driving 10 minutes to a small town just South of us where a friend picks him up and takes him the rest of the 20 miles.  This is all fine and well, BUT it is at 6:30a.m.  LO is not ready to get up, but has to go in her car seat.
Last week, I left work at 4 to go pick up LO and then go 10 miles south and pick Hubby up before finally getting home.  This week Hubby's brother & mother are picking him up in the afternoons.  This is a HUGE help....but still sucks.

The long and the short of it is...if you see my hubby walking down the highway, carseat on his back....please pick him up and take him to CVS to catch his ride ;)

The good & the bad

The good news has it ended!  The bad news is it will come again (in about 21 days).  TERRIBLE.  Every new mom dreads the day her cycle starts again….I’m just the same.  Here I am almost 2 years without and suddenly as if with vengeance, my body takes over and it sucks….

Moms who don’t breast feed typically have 2 months without a period.  Those of us who breastfeed exclusively have longer, those of us who breastfeed AND co-sleep are the luckiest!  377 days after Liath was born….I consider myself pretty darn lucky J

My mom and I had a co-sleeping discussion today.  She breastfed me for 8 weeks then went back to work.  She believes passionately that ALL children, nursing or not, should be sleeping on their own through the night by 6 months.  She is supportive of my decision, but thinks I made the wrong one….ask her, she will tell you just that.  I think she is wrong because the aggravation, time and tears spent trying to put LO to sleep in her own bed is a very ineffective use of my time….after all it takes like 2 hours with only 1 or 2 hours (if we were lucky) of sleep only to be interrupted by a terrible frightened scream that would tear everyone from sleep just to begin the process again.  By co-sleeping everyone sleeps through the night, LO nurses when she wants, AND I didn’t start my period for 377 days after delivery!

On another note, did you hear about the 10 month old baby abducted from her crib this morning?  She was put to sleep in her own room about 10:30 last night and was gone by 4:00 a.m. today.  This is not a good reason to co-sleep, but it just adds to my reasoning.  I feel so bad for that mom (especially if she is nursing….yowza).  Hopefully we will hear good news.

So to conclude…..I will start buying stock in Kotex again….it will eventually be all over, but for now I will deal.  Hope I didn’t share too much or gross anyone out….if anyone reads this.